Anything you say, can and will be used against you!

I shouldn't even be writing this right now but I would like to make some sense of my thoughts on this matter.
Sex:
I have lied/kept the truth from a lot of people for a damn good reason. Who have you been with since Nate?

I had sex with Dustyn, and Travis 2 times and a half fast attempt that was nothing but annoying.

Dustyn was end of april
Trav was 5/5 and 8/18? and the attempt was the 24th. No one knows about travis except liz, because we agreed not to speak about it. As I told him, saying things like "ouch my hips, okay i'm done" really kills my mood and certianly makes a woman feel like shit. That's why it doesn't count.. no one got even close to the end result!

Sex: I don't want to have sex with someone who is in a relationship. I ruined my marriage, not trying to ruin someone elses. So Chris & JW... BACK OFF ALREADY, i'm trying to be good here!

Sex: I was to have some serious mind blowing sex with someone, go on dates, spend time together, and NOT be in a relationship. Why can't I just date someone casually and constantly have sex?!?!
The two options I would seriously consider. Josh - which can be a very good thing or a very bad thing and probably annoying most of the time because he is a PITA! Oddly thought we have a insane amount of stuff in common and his take on sex is like mine. What he wants, how, when, where.. etc. Brandon - He's a irritating, sweet, bossy little shit that I could have some SERIOUS fun with! Our conversation about sex oddly turned me on. I doubt this will ever be brought up again at this point, but that would be so hot! B seems to like things I like, and I like it often as he mentioned.

Why is it so hard to just make this happen... I'm sick of being alone, and i'm sick of the baggage and drama that accompanies these people!